Melanie

“The sergeant was just noting that she was a very handsome woman, from somewhere in the eastern Mediterranean he would guess, when his eyes unexpectedly burst into flames. This distressed him, and he staggered around, blood-red fire erupting from the sockets, while he explained the degree of agony he was enduring and how much he would appreciate assistance of an unspecified form from those present. Then his head caught fire and his conversation became very scream orientated.”
― Jonathan L. Howard, The Brothers Cabal

“You know, I don't believe they noticed I had murdered them. I really don't. They just seemed faintly put out, as if it were a bit of bad luck, an act of God. 'Oh, my carotid artery has been severed with an open razor. I knew I should have cut down on greasy foods.' 'Botheration, I'm being belaboured with a fourteenth-century battleaxe. What are the odds, eh?”
― Jonathan L. Howard, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“The length of your days does not belong to you.”
― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper