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“I walk into his office, ready to greet George, and scream. George is bald.”
― Emily R. Austin, Interesting Facts about Space

“I worry that I am a shell for something bad. That deep down, in the spot where most people keep their souls, I keep a weird little bug. I picture him there, leaning on the apple core of my soul, crunching on what remains of what’s good of me.”
― Emily R. Austin, Interesting Facts about Space

“It turns out the crackers I stole are the body of Christ. After eating more than half the bag, I googled the cracker brand and learned that I paired marble Cracker Barrel cheese with God’s transubstantiated body. I had originally googled the crackers so I could leave them a review. I planned to write: BORING. Whoever created these is unimaginative. These crackers are tasteless and bland.”
― Emily R. Austin, Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead

“She just confidently asked a waitress for something. It takes me 5 minutes or more of mentally reciting what I will say before I even look at a waitress. I once ate an entire rack of ribs when I had ordered a tomato sandwich.”
― Emily R. Austin, Interesting Facts about Space