Lainey Cee

“Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

“Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, My Point... And I Do Have One

“I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding