Jhquinn

“Atticus "three kinds of cat shit, Oberon."
Oberon "and an arrogant family of squirrels.”
― Kevin Hearne, Trapped

“Careful with that ego, you could knock somebody over." Atticus”
― Kevin Hearne, Trapped

“You, sir," I said, "have all the dignity of a badger with the clap. Shark shit has more fiber than you. I'm going to tie your nuts-first to a monkey's cage and make a mix tape of the resulting noise. Then I'm going to take a bag of marshmallows and a pair of granny panties and-"...

... He didn't want to know what I was going to do with those granny panties. Surprisingly, Granuaile did. "Sensei, what were you going to do with those marshmallows and panties?" she whispered as we walked together. "I mean, I'm sure it had to be dire, but it just didn't sound as threatening as the potential havoc a monkey could wreak on his sack."
"There was more to that recipe," I admitted. "He cut me off before I could get to the Icy Hot and the gopher snake.”
― Kevin Hearne, Tricked

“First we need to get a buttload of nails.’

‘A buttload? How much is that?’

‘Uh…’

Granuaile rescued me with her superior knowledge of indefinite units of measurement. ‘I believe that’s slightly more than a shitload but much less than a fuckton.”
― Kevin Hearne