bronwyn

“I feel furious with her, then immediately guilty for feeling furious. I must be a terrible person to be able to feel fury at my mother while she’s slowly dying.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“My entire life's purpose, keeping Mom alive and happy, was for nothing. All those years I spent focusing on her, all the time I spent orienting my every thought and action toward what I thought would please her most, were pointless. Because now she's gone.

I tried desperately to understand and know my mother--what made her sad, what made her happy, and on and on and on--at the expense of ever really knowing myself. Without Mom around, I don't know who I am. And I certainly don't know what to wish for.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died

“No me gusta conocer a la gente en el contexto de las cosas. Oh, esa es la persona con la que hago ejercicio. Esa es la persona con la que estoy en un club de lectura. Esa es la persona con la que hice ese programa. Porque una vez que el contexto termina, también lo hace la amistad.”
― Jennette McCurdy, Me alegro de que mi madre haya muerto

“If I start to grow up, Mom won’t love me as much. She often weeps and holds me really tight and says she just wants me to stay small and young. It breaks my heart when she does this. I wish I could stop time. I wish I could stay a child. I feel guilty that I can’t. I feel guilty with every inch I grow. I feel guilty whenever we see one of my aunts or uncles and they comment on how much I’m “growing up.” I can see Mom’s eyebrow twitch whenever they say that. I can see how much it pains her. I’m determined to not grow up. I’ll do anything to stop it from happening.”
― Jennette McCurdy, I'm Glad My Mom Died