Alan

“I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.”
― Spike Milligan

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”
― Groucho Marx

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
― Mae West