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Derek Conklin

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Super Powereds: Year 1 (Super Powereds, #1)

by Drew Hayes (Goodreads Author)

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Reading for the 2nd time

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Derek Conklin said: " This is an odd one. Once I found it was a web serial, it made more sense.

Now, to a review: This book needs a professional editor, and a rewrite. There are a lot of paragraphs that should be sentences, and a lot of sentences that should be paragraphs. This is an odd one. Once I found it was a web serial, it made more sense.

Now, to a review: This book needs a professional editor, and a rewrite. There are a lot of paragraphs that should be sentences, and a lot of sentences that should be paragraphs. The author seems to be attempting to flex a vocabulary. Stop it. Do not try to craft the story, just write.

There is a lot of awkward speech, and there is no clear cut personality flow. As an example, the characters all use the exact same phrases. 'Ditto' is used by at least 3. Who uses that word? Like one in a thousand people. Other examples are phrases like, 'True', 'Noted', 'Point taken' and similar phrases readers will recognize. One person might use that phrase, but it is not interchangeable between a dozen personalities. Mr. Hayes needs to really work on differentiating between his personalities and build them into separate entities. A warning: it is the single hardest part of writing. It is why many authors cheat and just use their friends as characters. It is why Brandon Sanderson cheats and recycles characters and lets people fool themselves into thinking it's a game to recognize the recycling. (I do not blame him, and if it allows him to write 6 books a year, go right ahead, Mr. Sanderson!)

Here's the thing though. While I picked up this audiobook as a lark to explore something I'm not really a fan of (I've seen TWO, counthem, TWO movies in the Marvel universe) I've since found that 1: it's an excellent example of undisciplined writing that occurs without editing. 2: Re-emphasized how important the editing process and a good editor is,

And most important of all
3: This story is completely and totally compelling. It has no plot, the author has completely abandoned the concept of plot, story arc, and conflict/resolution. The story just wanders like a soap opera, never really getting anywhere. Yet it is compelling. The idea of people with powers, and how they hone and train them into actual wideranging versatility is fascinating. The idea that some have control, and others do not is also a really good one.

So, if I were able to talk to the author about it, what would I suggest? Every character needs their own arc. Not just the simple one thrown at us, Alice is a loner and needs to come out of her shell, Nick needs to stop hiding, Vince needs to trust himself, etc. Giving Vince a bully was a fantastic opportunity to create narrative tension and build a conflict resolution arc. It could have been a fantastic avenue for V to be forced to trust his ability in order to protect himself. But it was a squandered opportunity. And so on. Give each person a villain to push the narrative outside of class. Give them a reason to expand. Hate comes easily, and Clark was a perfect example. This community needs more animosity, jealousy and real world emotions. People are not going to fight without it being personal.

Oh, and characters explaining themselves and their abilities in the middle of a fight? Fucking please!

But goddammit, the story is compelling, and I want to see if the author gets better as the series progresses (I'm not done with book 1) so I'm taking it as an example of the story being better than the coverage provided, and how NOT to write.

3 stars overall. 5 for idea, which is keeping me going, 1 for authorial style, lack of editing and general clunkiness.

If Hayes goes back and does a really serious treatment of this, with a brutally honest editor, this book has some serious bestseller potential that would actually make a pretty cool movie. ...more "

Jul 26, 2024 01:48AM · see review