Kahea

“Beside me, Richie chimed in. "What the... Max. there's a girl on your face."
Sara pulled back and her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, crap."
"Calm down," I told her quietly. "No one here gives a fuck who we are. They hardly remember my name every week."
"Patently untrue," Richie said. "Your name is Twat."
I tilted my head to him, smiling at Sara. "Like I said.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Stranger

“The psychotic clown I sent for his birthday will feel like a feather falling on a pillow atop a cloud. The laxative in my lunch? Child's play. If you think it was bad when I sent that fake resume for his open assistant position and the stripper came for the interview? No. We're talking Defcon Five, Vietcong-level mind fucking, do you hear me, Chloe?”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Beginning

“Death growls mostly bore me. Who
wants to hear the Cookie Monster?
Sing your fucking lyrics. Put some
emotion behind it.”
And Ghost’s usual retaliation.
“Aw, I’m sorry. Do you need a hug,
emo boy? You know, you might
want to cross your legs. Your
vagina is showing.”
“Suck my dick.”
“I know you’d like that, but
Candace would have to return it
first.”
“Burn!”
― Cherrie Lynn, Leave Me Breathless

“That's why I had a reduction when I was twenty-one," which is when his expression morphed into one of horror.
You'd have thought I told him I made an amazing stew from tiny babies and puppy tongues.
"Why on earth would you do that? That's like God giving you a beautiful gift and you kicking him in the nuts."
I laughed. "God? I thought you were agnostic, Professor."
"I am. But if I could motorboat perfect tits like yours I might be able to find Jesus."
I felt my blush warm my cheeks. "Because Jesus totally lives in my cleavage?"
"Not anymore he doesn't. Your boobs are now too small for him to be comfortable in there." He shook his head, and I couldn't stop laughing. "So selfish, Ziggs,”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Player