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Florence Salmon

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Florence is Currently Reading

Florence Salmon is currently reading

Classical and Christian Ideas in English Renaissance Poetry: A Student's Guide

by Isabel Rivers

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Apr 04, 2026 01:00AM

Florence Salmon is currently reading

Lonesome Dove (Lonesome Dove, #1)

by Larry McMurtry

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progress:

(page 641 of 960)
"My favourite characters in fiction will forever be the mother with absolutely no maternal instincts whatsoever. Just shitting out kids and dunking on them, those awful small things. Addie Bundren and Elmira Johnson, you are so close to my heart." — Apr 24, 2026 07:11AM

Mar 28, 2026 07:46AM

Florence Salmon is currently reading

As I Lay Dying

by William Faulkner

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Reading for the 2nd time

read in October 2025

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Florence Salmon said: " William Faulkner has more talent contained within one square inch of his scrotum than I have in the entirety of my amorphous chocolate firegaurd of a body. I am absolutely bloody fuming.

I wrote this on the notes app.
1. Campaigning for someone to beat William Faulkner has more talent contained within one square inch of his scrotum than I have in the entirety of my amorphous chocolate firegaurd of a body. I am absolutely bloody fuming.

I wrote this on the notes app.
1. Campaigning for someone to beat the false teeth from the haggard jaw of that crepuscular old fart Anse. Anse, if I see you on the street. Anse, trust you will be delt with.
2. If anyone asks me why I'm never having children, I'm reading them the Addie monologue. 'I would go down the hill to the spring where I could be quiet and hate them'. Hit the coffer nail on the head, and the nail bent backwards like a spine. Also. Mrs. I-Wanna-Fuck-A-Priest Fleabag hesself. Game appreciates game.
3. Darl was assigned homosexual at birth, I don't make the rules. But I do enforce them.
4. Dewey Dell... oh, how you mean so much to me... the negative to Jewel... the non-person... the premature word 'motherhood', 'the gal', 'ten dollars'... Lafe will burn, and Anse will burn, and your brothers, too, shall go up like a barn on fire. Hope, for you, will be in three miles.
5. Cash. The eldest son. You shall, indeed, be seeing the pearly gates. You shall walk through them with an off-balance leg carrying an off-balance box, and you won't complain because you're obliged, and more importantly, Anse is obliged, and you are the eldest son. How I love you so!
6. Vardman. How are you so young and yet so grating and racist. Your irritating snot-rag of a face shall be eliminated. Designated idiot son.
7. Peabody, don't let them take your stand-up spirit. You were born to resist ED twt, be a double-d baddie, and rag on ol' timeys. Quit your practice: take an improv class.
8. JEWEL OH MY BLAMELESS AND DARLIN' LOVE! Kisses forever. Addie was so right about you being the saviour. I guess fucking a Priest really does make the child holy. I'm free on Thursday nights. Just to let you know.
9. You can take Faulkner out of the South, but you can't take the South out of Faulkner, I guess. And by God's cloth of sin, those slurs were itching to come out. I'm not sure how he made it through most of the novel without being abhorrently racist. What was even that.
10. Anyway, I will be killing myself promptly tomorrow at noon, for if I were given an infinite amount of typewriters and an infinite amount of time (and an infinite amount of monkeys. Wouldn't they rather be eating bananas??) I still wouldn't be able to write something even fractionally as skillful and beautiful as this.
11. But then again, words are no good; words don't ever fit what they are trying to say at all.
12. So, I wrote this on the notes app.
13. It makes a neater job. ...more "

progress:

(page 1 of 240)
"Spend a truly evil amount of money to purchase the illustrated folio society edition of this book and I would very much like to be put in the coffin with it. Everyday I thank God that James Franco’s movie adaptation of it was abandoned." — Mar 05, 2026 02:32PM

Oct 03, 2025 05:13PM · see review

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