Ford Prefect

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Terry Pratchett
“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett
“A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch," Carrot drew himself up proudly, "because someone's taken a book? You think that's worse than murder?"
The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like "What's so bad about genocide?”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett
“A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett
“Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

“Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words, he was a carbon-based life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby, and worked for the local council.”
Duglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Trilogy

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