James

“It was a very familiar feeling for Rimmer - the horrible slow dawning, the internal denials, the frantic mental search for someone else to blame, the gradual acceptance that, once again, he'd done something so unspeakably asinine it would live with him for the rest of his days, lurking in the horror pit of his mind along with nine or ten other monstrous ineptitudes that screamed and railed there, never allowing him to forget them.”
― Grant Naylor, Better than Life

“It wasn't a beautiful face. But it was a nice face. It wasn't a face that could launch a thousand ships. Maybe two ships and a small yacht. That was, until she smiled. When she smiled, her eyes lit up like a pinball machine when you win a bonus game. And she smiled a lot.”
― Grant Naylor, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers

“Lister patted the towel rail against his left palm. 'I'm going out like I came in - screaming and kicking.'
'You can't whack Death on the head.'
'If he comes near me, I'll rip his tits off.”
― Grant Naylor, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers

“However, not all breeds of genetic athletes were accepted by the GAS and new rules had to be created after the 2224 World Cup, when Scotland fielded a goalkeeper who was a human oblong of flesh, measuring eight feet high by sixteen across, thereby filling the entire goal. Somehow they still failed to qualify for the second round.”
― Grant Naylor, Red Dwarf Omnibus: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers & Better Than Life