John Appleton

“I am thus able to report that the following are all real places: Wee Waa, Poowong, Burrumbuttock, Suggan Buggan, Boomahnoomoonah, Waaia, Mullumbimby, Ewlyamartup, Jiggalong, and the supremely satisfying Tittybong.”
― Bill Bryson, In a Sunburned Country

“An over-excited accountant, like the University of Hull, is a contradiction in terms.”
― Tom Holt, Flying Dutch

“O. J. Simpson was wonderfully stiff in both Capricorn One and The Towering Inferno. David: I directed him in the Naked Gun movies. Although he actually improved with each film, his acting remained a lot like his murdering—he got away with it, but no one really believed him.”
― David Zucker, Surely You Can't Be Serious: The True Story of Airplane!

“Men love women because they're the loveliest creatures on God's earth. Women love men because chocolate can't mow the lawn.”
― Guy Browning, Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges