xo juke

“People recognized Saget everywhere we went and would say, "Hey, you're Bob Saget!" and Saget would turn to them and say , "Thank you," as if it was a compliment.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“I will say this about the young boy in the tiny white coffin. Despite the doctor's dire predictions, the boy was too tough, resolute, and courageous to let something as small as a deadly disease defeat him. No, the boy was made of stronger stuff than that and it took much more to defeat him. It took a three-ton municipal bus moving at forty miles per hour driven by one Cecil Richard Anderson to defeat this boy.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“Suddenly I saw a lightbulb go on over Lorne's head and his eyes brightened and I could tell he had an idea. But no such luck. It was just that Goddamned bare lightbulb that hung from the ceiling and kept going off and on all day.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“At the white house this week, President Clinton officially came out against same-sex marriages. What's more, the president said he's not too crazy about opposite-sex marriages, either.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir