xo juke

“The plain truth is that Adam Eget is an alcoholic and that's why he doesn't drink. Me, I'm not an alcoholic and that's why I do drink.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“Suddenly I saw a lightbulb go on over Lorne's head and his eyes brightened and I could tell he had an idea. But no such luck. It was just that Goddamned bare lightbulb that hung from the ceiling and kept going off and on all day.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“Well, the thing is, Norm, you are absolutely correct," said Lorne. "Jim is nonpareil."

Then he just looked at me. A long time passed---maybe forty-five minutes---until I finally said, "All right, all right. What's that word mean?”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story: A Memoir

“Harry felt a chill pass through his body right to his bones, as despite killing the one who shall not be named, the real one who shall not be named made his presence known. Suddenly, Voldemort's level of intimidation was considered pitiful in the wake of the new threat, who's aura is so powerful he must be named. And there was a lack of choice whether to name him. For in the distance, his armies marched towards Hogwarts. All the while chanting.”
― J.K. Rowling