Adeena Ali

“For as long as I can remember, every psychological evaluation and aptitude test agreed: The child appears to be dead inside.
There was something wrong with me, something broken, some meaningful reason why I never laughed the way other children did, never smiled at strangers. Why I never cried when they sliced me open over and over and over again, trying to feed my mind to a machine.
I would not be a scientist or a doctor. Not a mother or a soldier. I would grow up to be an efficient killer. An excellent asset to the regime. At the height of The Reestablishment’s power, I never imagined my skills would be so enthusiastically desired, but now that we lack the robust military of a bygone era, mercenaries are more important than ever. Spies, assassins, executioners. We’ve been forced to downsize our kill capacity, designing missions with surgical precision and efficiency.
This is all my life is worth. And I decided long ago to sacrifice my dead body so that Clara might live.
“By the way,” says James, interrupting my reverie. “If you’re going to pretend to go through the motions, you need to work on the details. You carry that notebook around but you never carry a pen. You're not fooling anyone."
I don't know what prompts me to say it. I'm not sure I'm thinking at all when I
say, softly-
"I've been fooling people all my life. You're the only one paying attention.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Watch Me

“This is not a level playing field.
It doesn’t come naturally to me to orchestrate the downfall of vulnerable women. I liked it better when she was actively trying to murder me. I liked it better before I made her cry. Hell, I could’ve sworn she used to talk more. And she never used to look at me like this, like a cat when it’s comfortable. Softly blinking, sleepy eyes. I don’t like it. It’s freaking me out. I need her to try to stab me or something, and soon. Really soon.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Watch Me

“I want to go back to the person I was five minutes ago.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Watch Me

“I’ve been fooling people all my life. You’re the only one paying attention.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Watch Me