Risha

“The central attitudes driving the Victim are:
Everybody has done me wrong, especially the women I’ve been involved with. Poor me.
When you accuse me of being abusive, you are joining the parade of people who have been cruel and unfair to me. It proves you’re just like the rest.
It’s justifiable for me to do to you whatever I feel you are doing to me, and even to make it quite a bit worse to make sure you get the message.
Women who complain of mistreatment by men, such as relationship abuse or sexual harassment, are anti-male and out for blood.
I’ve had it so hard that I’m not responsible for my actions.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are:
It’s your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities if I drop the ball on them. If I’m unhappy about
any aspect of my life, whether it has to do with our relationship or not, it’s your fault.
You should not place demands on me at all. You should be grateful for whatever I choose to give.
I am above criticism.
I am a very loving and giving partner. You’re lucky to have me.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The central attitudes driving Mr. Sensitive are:
I’m against the macho men, so I couldn’t be abusive.
As long as I use a lot of “psychobabble,” no one is going to believe that I am mistreating you.
I can control you by analyzing how your mind and emotions work, and what your issues are from childhood.
I can get inside your head whether you want me there or not.
Nothing in the world is more important than my feelings.
Women should be grateful to me for not being like those other men.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The will to be polite, to maintain civility and normalcy, is fearfully strong. I wonder sometimes how much evil is permitted to run unchecked simply because it would be rude to interrupt it.”
― Alix E. Harrow, The Ten Thousand Doors of January