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“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth. ”
― Steve Martin