Dan Canizalez

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Brave New World
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Pride and Prejudice
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The Fabric of the...
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David Sedaris
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris

David Sedaris
“I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.”
David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

David Sedaris
“Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris
“If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt? I accepted the idea that an omniscient God had cast me in his own image and that he watched over me and guided me from one place to the next. The virgin birth, the resurrection, and the countless miracles -my heart expanded to encompass all the wonders and possibilities of the universe.

A bell, though, that's fucked up.”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris
“Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't.”
David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

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