Monet The Book Sniffing Unicorn

“Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.”
― Jen Lancaster, Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer

“How do I make sense of the miracles Jesus chooses to perform and those he seems to overlook? Blessings are not formulaic. They are not a + b = c. There is no “if this, then that.” There is no “If I do this, then Jesus will do that.” There is no “If I don’t do this, then Jesus will not allow that.” We can’t make sense of grace, miracles, and answers. Sometimes Jesus says yes, and sometimes he says no. We ask God to do something big, but the truth is, he already has. We pray for healing, but I wonder if we really know what we’re asking for.”
― Tricia Lott Williford, And Life Comes Back: A Wife's Story of Love, Loss, and Hope Reclaimed

“Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.”
― Jen Lancaster, Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office

“Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.”
― Jen Lancaster, Here I Go Again