Pamela

“If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.”
― Craig Ferguson

“Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.”
― Craig Ferguson

“I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.”
― Craig Ferguson

“I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.”
― Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot