Linda

“Can I ask you a question? You know with vampires and werewolves and goblins and things, is there any mythological creature that doesn't actually exist?"
"Of course," he replied. "The unicorn and the leprechaun would be would be the two main ones. The Loch Ness Monster isn't real, either, that's just someone called Bert.”
― Derek Landy, Kingdom of the Wicked

“You can't leave me alone," she said, following him into the living room.
"Yes," he corrected, "I can. You'll be perfectly safe."
"The front door's off!"
"Well, yes. You'll be perfectly safe as long as they don't come through the front door.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“And what about magic?”
“What about it?”
“Will you teach me?”
“You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.”
“How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”
“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Stop hittin’ me!" he cried. "This is hardly fair, now is it? Two of you against me?"
“You’re the one who came at us with a gun,” Ghastly said, standing over him.
“But that was for a giggle,” Jack tried. “I wasn’t aimin’ at you, I swear.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days