Heidi McLaughlin

“It took me five minutes of awkward silence to come up with an answer, but upon careful consideration, I told her that my perfect job would entail spending the day in a cushiony room, napping with baby animals. Maybe they had been abandoned by their mothers of left by the side of the road; whatever their situation, it would be my job to keep them company and pet them and generally give them a warm motherly vibe. When they wanted to play and roll around on the floor, I would do that with them, and then when they got tired, they could fall asleep in the crook of my arm or snuggled in my blouse. And sometimes I would give them a warm bottle, just like in all the nature specials. But they would definitely have to be baby animals. I wasn't about to get scratched or nipped or anything - I'm no St. Francis.”
― Samantha Bee, I Know I Am, But What Are You?