Matt Warren

“He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged shark. His bulky totem beating a seductive rhythm. Mary's body felt like it was burning, even though the room was properly air-conditioned. They tried all the positions - on top, doggy, and normal.

Exhausted they collapsed onto the recently extended sofa-bed. Then a hell beast ate them.”
― Garth Marenghi, Slicer

“The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his view of humans, was a shepherd and not a goatherd. They have quite different ways of looking at the world, and the whole of history might have been different. For sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“A weapon you held and didn't know how to use belonged to your enemy.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money