Matt Warren

“I looked around my office with quiet satisfaction. The place looked pretty nice. I had pictures on the walls of me posing with clues, getting yelled at by the mayor, and so on. There was a calendar on one wall that was running a couple of years slow, but it looked okay and had the months right, so I left it up. On another wall was a sign that said "DO IT TOMORROW". I got it cheap because it's bad advice.”
― John Swartzwelder, The Time Machine Did It

“Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“Whoever said you can’t fool an honest man wasn’t one.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“My books always say something, even if it’s just something simple like: 'Don’t genetically engineer crabs to be as big as men.”
― Garth Marenghi