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“Passion is a meta-emotion — an emotion that is felt only after observing other emotions over time.”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
“The experience of psychological trauma, as is typically diagnosed (posttraumatic stress disorder [PTSD]), has at least some of the following symptoms: • Reliving the trauma: This can happen through nightmares, flashbacks, or reexperiencing as a result of being in the presence of stimuli reminiscent of the traumatic event. • Efforts to avoid thoughts or feelings that are associated with the trauma. • Efforts to avoid activities or situations that arouse memories of the trauma. • Inability to remember some important aspect of the trauma (psychogenic amnesia). • Marked reduced interest in important activities. • Feeling of a lack of interest or expulsion by others. • Limited affect; such as inability to cherish loving feelings. • A feeling of not having any future (foreshortened future); not expecting to have a career, get married, have children, or live a long life. • Hypervigilance (heightened sensitivity to possible traumatic stimuli).”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
“Always seek to allow others the space to be imperfect.”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
“What’s happiness really all about? How will I find lasting love and contentment? Can I find it in a relationship with a man? Is there such a thing as a healthy relationship between two men? How can I find real purpose and passion in my life?”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
“Sadly, our culture raises man to be strong and silent. Straight or gay, the pressure is on from the time we're very young to become our culture's John Wayne-style of man.
* The more pain I can take, the more of a man I am.
* Showing feelings is for women.
* The more I can drink, the manlier I am.
* Intimacy is sex; sex is intimacy.
* Only women depend on others.
* A man takes care of himself without help from others.
* No one can hurt you if you're strong.
* I am what I earn.
* It is best to keep your problems to yourself.
* Winning is all that really matters.
Where did this stuff come from? It's everywhere in our society from the movies heroes we love to the politicians we vote for. Our culture demands that man fit in a tightly defined role.”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
* The more pain I can take, the more of a man I am.
* Showing feelings is for women.
* The more I can drink, the manlier I am.
* Intimacy is sex; sex is intimacy.
* Only women depend on others.
* A man takes care of himself without help from others.
* No one can hurt you if you're strong.
* I am what I earn.
* It is best to keep your problems to yourself.
* Winning is all that really matters.
Where did this stuff come from? It's everywhere in our society from the movies heroes we love to the politicians we vote for. Our culture demands that man fit in a tightly defined role.”
― The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World
Kushal’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Kushal’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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