Decoder

“Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes."
"That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly.
"Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Opal Deception

“We're being led by an idiot with a crayon.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident

“So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"

"That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney."

"Oh, really?"

"O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?"

"Very good. You should be on the stage."

"It's funny you should mention that."

The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . ."

"Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."

The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."

Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."

Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"

Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards.

"Actors," he said. "Highly strung.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code