Casey

“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain

“I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.”
“A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said.
“Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.

-Ella Varner”
― Lisa Kleypas, Smooth Talking Stranger

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil