Kait

“Perhaps the most painful loss many codependents face is the loss of our dreams, the hopeful and sometimes idealistic expectations for the future that most people have. This loss can be the most difficult to accept.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Self-care is an attitude toward ourselves and our lives that says, “I am responsible for myself.” I am responsible for leading my life. I am responsible for tending to my spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial well-being. I am responsible for identifying and meeting my needs. I am responsible for solving my problems or learning to live with those I cannot solve. I am responsible for my choices. I am responsible for what I give and receive. I am responsible for setting and achieving my goals. I am responsible for how much I enjoy life, for how much pleasure I find in daily activities. I am responsible for whom I love and how I choose to express this love. I am responsible for what I do to others and for what I allow others to do to me. I am responsible for my wants and desires. All of me, every aspect of my being, is important. I count for something. I matter. My feelings can be trusted. My thinking is appropriate. I value my wants and needs. I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment. I have rights, and it’s my responsibility to assert these rights. The decisions I make and the way I conduct myself will reflect my high self-esteem. My decisions will take into account my responsibilities to myself. My decisions will also take into account my responsibilities to other people—my partner, my children, my relatives, my friends. I will examine and decide exactly what these responsibilities are as I make my decisions. I will also consider the rights of those around me—the right to live their lives as they see fit. I do not have the right to impose on others’ rights to take care of themselves, and they have no right to impose on my rights.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Acceptance is the ultimate paradox: we cannot change who we are until we accept ourselves the way we are.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It’s an instinctive and natural reaction to pain, loss, and change. It protects us. It wards off the blows of life until we can gather our other coping resources.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself