Bunny Knows

“If there'd been anything decent in the house, anything approaching real ice cream, it would have been eaten long ago. I knew this, so I bypassed the freezer in the kitchen and the secondary freezer in the toolshed and went to the neglected, tundralike one in the basement. Behind the chickens bought years earlier on sale, and the roasts encased like chestnuts in blood-tinted frost, I found a tub of ice milk, vanilla-flavored, and the color of pus. It had been frozen for so long that even I, a child, was made to feel old by the price tag. "Thirty-five cents! You can't get naught for that nowadays!”
― David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, Etc.

“There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.”
― Greg Behrendt

“A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“Better than nothing is not good enough for you!”
― Greg Behrendt