Daryl

“just an effort to have a guaranteed method of reassurance because they find it difficult to tolerate the uncertainty while their partner is away.”
― Lola Phoenix, The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy: Your Guide to Open Relationships, Polyamory and Letting Go

“Labeling involves attaching negative labels to ourselves or others based on isolated incidents. Example: You get a call about an incident at school and think, “He’s such a bad kid. I’m a failure as a parent.” Helpful Reframe: “He’s having a hard day. I’m a good parent, and I’m doing the best I can.” Catastrophizing involves blowing situations out of proportion and assuming the worst possible outcome. Example: “If she doesn’t get sorted out, she’ll end up in jail someday.” Helpful Reframe: “I’m supporting her with positive changes day by day and she’ll probably turn out just fine.” Personalization involves taking responsibility for events outside your control. Example: “This is all my fault.” Helpful Reframe: “I’m not responsible for his behavior. Sometimes, even if I do everything right, things can still go wrong.” All-or-nothing thinking involves viewing situations in extremes, with no room for nuance. Example: “My child hates me.” Helpful Reframe: “He’s triggered and saying hurtful things, but I know he loves me.” Rejecting Reality involves refusing to accept facts or evidence that contradicts negative beliefs. Example: “He should be able to focus on his homework.”
― Olivia Greene, Transforming Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Bring Peace to Your Home and Build a Stronger Relationship with Your Child

“I’m now excited to have a house to myself or a bed to myself for a period of time unless I’ve experienced something that’s impacted my mental health. If you’re brought to polyamory or non-monogamy because a partner is asking for it and you’re struggling to find a good reason to try it yourself, the first night can be even more difficult without an anchor.”
― Lola Phoenix, The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy: Your Guide to Open Relationships, Polyamory and Letting Go

“welcoming”
― Alan E. Kazdin, The Kazdin Method For Parenting The Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills