He turned twenty during this time, but this special watershed—becoming an adult—meant nothing. Taking his own life seemed the most natural solution, and even now he couldn’t say why he hadn’t taken this final step.


“The years passed by, quietly, like a gentle breeze. Leaving no scars behind, no sorrow, rousing no strong emotions, leaving no happiness or memories worth mentioning.”
― Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
― Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

“flexibility without structure isn’t flexibility at all; it’s just chaos.”
― Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism
― Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism

“It took me no time at all to notice that this nothing, this hole where a head should have been was no ordinary vacancy, no mere nothing. On the contrary, it was very much occupied. It was a vast emptiness vastly filled, a nothing that found room for everything - room for grass, trees, shadowy distant hills, and far above them snow-peaks like a row of angular clouds riding the blue sky. I had lost a head and gained a world.”
― On Having No Head: Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious
― On Having No Head: Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious

“And you’re alone, but not lonely.” It was still early, and they were the only customers in the bar. Music from a jazz trio played softly in the background. “I suppose,” Tsukuru said after some hesitation.”
― Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
― Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

“And the further he departed from childhood and the nearer he came to the present the more worthless and doubtful were the joys.”
― The Death of Ivan Ilych
― The Death of Ivan Ilych
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