Tabatha

“The Law of Activity
Many times we have boundary problems because we lack initiative - the God-given ability to propel ourselves into life. We respond to invitations and push ourselves into life.
The best boundaries are formed when a child is pushing against the world naturally, and the outside world sets its limits on the child. In this way, the aggressive child has learned limits without losing his or her spirit. Our spiritual and emotional well-being depends on our having this spirit.
Consider the contrast in the parable of the talents. The ones who succeeded were ACTIVE and assertive. They initiated and pushed. The one who lost out was PASSIVE and inactive.
The sad thing is that many people who are passive are not inherently evil or bad people. But evil is an active force and passivity can become an ally of evil by NOT pushing against it. Passivity never pays off. God will match our effort, but he will never do our work for us. That would be an invasion of our boundaries. He wants us to be assertive and active, seeking and knocking on the door of life.
We know that God is not mean to people who are afraid; the Scriptures is full of examples of his compassion. But he will not enable passivity. The wicked and lazy servant was passive. He did not try. God's grace covers failure but it cannot makeup for passivity. We have to do our part.
The sin God rebukes is not trying and failing, but failing to try. Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. Failing to try will have no good result; evil will triumph. HEBREWS 10:38-39 … do not shrink back.
Passive shrinking back is intolerable to God, and when we understand how destructive it is to the soul, we can see why God does not tolerate it. God wants us to preserve our souls. That is the role of boundaries; they define and preserve our property, our soul.
p. 99”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries

“we were called into freedom, and this freedom results in gratitude, an overflowing heart, and love for others...If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation.
The Law of Motivation says this: Freedom first, service second. If you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed to failure. Let God work on the fears, resolve them, and create some healthy boundaries to guard the freedom you were called to.
pg. 92”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries

“Children whose paretns whithdraw when they start setting limits learn to accentuate and develop their compliant, loving, sensitive parts. At the same time, they learn to fear, distrust and hate their aggressive, truth-telling and separate parts. If someone they love pulls away when they become angry, cantankerous or experimental, children learn to hide these parts of themselves.
Parents who tell their children, "It hurts us when you're angry" make the child responsible for the emotional health of the parent. In effect, the child has just been made the parent of the parent - sometimes at two or three years old. It's far, far better to say, "I know you're angry, but you still can't have that toy." And then take your hurt feelings to a spouse, friend or the Lord. pg. 75”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries

“p. 52 Blessings and burdens. Both can alarm-clock us out of slumber. Gifts stir homeward longings. So do struggles. Every homeless day carries us closer to the day our Father will come.”
― Max Lucado, Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry for His Touch