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“Dave has always equated love with sex. That idea had started early on with pornographic images which wired him a certain way. It was reinforced by guy talk in locker rooms, he played sports in high school and college, and through relationships with women who also defined love as sex. It was all he knew, but as it turned out, most of those women had been sexually abused in ways that disconnected them from their bodies and wired them to be highly sexual. It came out that Maddie was also sexually abused, which Dave didn't know, but she had gone the other way in reaction to that trauma. She didn't enjoy sex. Sex was a device, something she used to attract men, not something that brought her pleasure.”
― Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
― Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
“The stereotype that men have sex for pleasure and women have sex for love is unfounded," says Meston. But while the top 10 show significant overlap, distinctions emerge lower in the list. "Women don't have sex because they're IN love," says Meston, "But because they're protecting love, stealing love, trying to create love, or doing it out of duty."
One participant said, "My mother taught me to have sex with my man, or someone else will."
Another said, "I'd rather spend five minutes having sex with him than listen to him whine and complain about how horny he is for the next two days.”
― Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!
One participant said, "My mother taught me to have sex with my man, or someone else will."
Another said, "I'd rather spend five minutes having sex with him than listen to him whine and complain about how horny he is for the next two days.”
― Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!
“With drugs, people almost universally want them more than they end up liking them. With sex it can be the other way around. People can end up liking sex more than they initially wanted it, especially as both men and women get older, and with more time in a relationship.”
― Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!
― Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!
“He defined love based on how much sex they had. If they weren't having sex, he felt unloved and rejected. If they were having a lot of sex, he felt loved and desired. But Maddie didn't enjoy sex. She usually just did it for him. This made him feel tricked, because she had presented herself as a "highly sexual person" when they first met, but after a year he realized she wasn't.”
― Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
― Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
“When the subject was 14, late in the year of 1980, she began to pursue male attention, like the cartoon cat who turns around and begins to chase the dog. From there on out, her pursuit was dedicated, the subject was never without a boyfriend, or several. She seemed to need to stack them, like cordwood, for winter. Sexual activity was ongoing, occasionally fervent, but usually desultory, or mechanical, or dutiful. What this study is attempting to ascertain is why. Why did she do this?”
― Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning
― Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning
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