Cassie Thompson

“Whatever your opinion of frequent sexual congress, let us assume for the purpose of this study that sensual sex should provide an increase in personal happiness, which was a widely held belief during the era we are discussing. A visual expression of the data we compiled regarding the subject's sexual activity shows happiness decreasing as sexual activity increases.”
― Claire Dederer, Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

“One day my colleague, David Buss and I were chatting and I said to him, "Nobody's ever looked at why people have sex," says Cindy Meston, psychologist at UTexas Austin and author of the book, 'Why Women Have Sex.' She and Buss rectified that.
1,549 undergraduates settled on 237 reasons for sex. Women listed as their top 10 reasons, (1) I was attracted to the person, (2) I wanted to experience the physical pleasure, (3) It feels good, (4) I wanted to show my affection for the person, (5) I wanted to express my love for the person, (6) I was sexually aroused and wanted the release, (7) It's fun, (8) I was horny, (9) I realized I was in love, and (10) I was in the heat of the moment.
Men had the same top three, with numbers 2 and 3 switched. Lower in the top 10, men mix in - I wanted to achieve orgasm, and, I wanted to please my partner.”
― Garth Sundem, Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!

“Jess herself seemed resolutely asexual, though I later of torrid affairs, and complex intrigues. This quality of holding back was very important for me to see. She'd held herself apart a little. She didn't pretend she wasn't beautiful, there was nothing coy in her, but she wasn't very interested in using her beauty's power. That fascinated me. I had never thought of that as an option. Just letting your beauty lie around, unused. She was a model of a different way of being.”
― Claire Dederer, Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

“An aside on the question of pleasure. The subject didn't really get much pleasure from all this fornicating she was doing. The compulsion wasn't to feel good, it was to enjoy the feeling of making someone want her, of making someone else feel good. Frequency of condition was high, in fact constant.”
― Claire Dederer, Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning