Gregg Harris

“Ron, sometimes people don’t want the truth. They just want the news.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago”
― John Frazee

“When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned, but the second mouse, he struggled so hard that he eventually churned that cream into butter and he walked out. Amen.”
― Frank William Abagnale