Terry Phillips

“We will martyr ourselves, suffering under the weight of a non-reciprocal relationship until some part of us bursts in protest. Suddenly, we lose our mind, and allowing ourselves to heap all manner of nastiness, name calling, patronizing, death threats on the “deserving” jerk who has it coming after all we do for him/her! As the final insult rings across the room and we regain consciousness, we are horrified by what has come out of our mouth. After all, we LOVE these people, and we quickly move into anxious terror that this time we have gone too far . . . this time we crossed the line and they will leave us. So, we hunker back down and the martyrdom begins again. It’s a terrible cycle.”
― Mary Crocker Cook, Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment.

“We get attached to people, a job, material things and a certain state of being. And, when something around us changes we suffer.

Release the need to control people, release the believe there is only one job you can do, release the need to accumulate material things, welcome the unknown and set yourself free.”
― Ana Ortega

“It is possible to move through the drama of our lives without believing so earnestly in the character that we play. That we take ourselves so seriously, that we are so absurdly important in our own minds, is a problem for us. We feel justified in being annoyed with everything. We feel justified in denigrating ourselves or in feeling that we are more clever than other people. Self-importance hurts us, limiting us to the narrow world of our likes and dislikes. We end up bored to death with ourselves and our world. We end up never satisfied.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

“Desire also creates a sense of attachment in the mind. Not only are we attached to our way of thinking and of seeing the world, but we become over-attached to the people or things we desire.”
― Gyalwa Dokhampa, The Restful Mind