Lyrian

“On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From the dog owners I learned "Lie down," "Shut up," and "Who shit on this carpet?" The couple across the road taught me to ask questions correctly, and the grocer taught me to count. Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. "Is thems the thoughts of cows?" I'd ask the butcher, pointing to the calves' brains displayed in the front window. "I want me some lamb chop with handles on 'em.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.”
― Groucho Marx

“I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.”
― Stephen Colbert

“I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
(Washington DC, 12 May, 2008)”
― George W. Bush