MacGregor

“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“He also used to oblige them to wear long leather drawers, filled with live cats.”
― William Dalrymple, The Anarchy: The East India Company, Corporate Violence, and the Pillage of an Empire

“Like every other creature on the face of the earth, Godfrey was, by birthright, a stupendous badass, albeit in the somewhat narrow technical sense that he could trace his ancestry back up a long line of slightly less highly evolved stupendous badasses to that first self-replicating gizmo---which, given the number and variety of its descendants, might justifiably be described as the most stupendous badass of all time. Everyone and everything that wasn't a stupendous badass was dead.”
― Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon