Cliff

“The chef grabs the guy's wife/girlfriend by the hair, bashes her down on the table, and slams the meat cleaver into the back of her neck. I don't think she even ordered a turkey sandwich!”
― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue

“I learn more from books than from people.”
― William Sleator, The Beasties

“Grounding you obviously don't work. Neither does taking away your allowance. I guess the only punishment that'll teach you a good enough lesson is if you sleep with Gramma's corpse tonight.”
― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue

“I didn't do anything to you." "You're right. You didn't. And if I kept shouting 'Revenge!' the whole time I was cutting you, that argument would have some substance. But since I've given no indication that my actions are vengeance-based, it was a pointless thing to say.”
― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue