Cliff

“Either way, it fucking sucked. Either way, I was fucked. Either way, it fucking sucked that I was fucked.”
― Jeff Menapace, Hair of the Bitch

“Though I'd considered the idea of killing him a million times, once I made the decision to actually do it, I knew it had to be that night. It was sort of like that big public speaking engagement you're dreading, and you just want it to be over so you can stop worrying about it.”
― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue

“The chef grabs the guy's wife/girlfriend by the hair, bashes her down on the table, and slams the meat cleaver into the back of her neck. I don't think she even ordered a turkey sandwich!”
― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue

“Pregnant women shouldn’t be lifting dead bodies.”
― Jeff Strand, Stalking You Now