Stefanie

“Also, why did Mary Poppins even need such a huge bag if it’s magically designed to fit everything? Seriously. I’m guessing that Mary asked for a magic pocket and the wizards were like, “What, like a dude? Nah. I don’t think so, lady. You’ll get a purse.” Those guys were motherfuckers.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“In my spare time I like to stare at shit. I mean, not literally. I like to stare at the TV, or the Internet, or a book, or cat videos. There’s a lot of sitting very still and not moving involved. I suspect in a former life I was probably a statue because I am profoundly good at it.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“I’m not going to say I told you so” is pretty much the same thing as saying “I told you so.” Except worse because you’re saying “I told you so” and congratulating yourself for your restraint in not saying what you totally just said.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“They aren't ugly." I bit my lip, trying to find the right words. "more like beautiful things that have had the misfortune of being broken.”
― Danielle L. Jensen, Stolen Songbird