Marina

“What are you waiting for?" shanna asked. "He's dying! Do it!"
Conner looked at Angus. "Ye do it. It was yer idea."
"Nay? Ye were the first to suggest it. Ye do it."
"I'm no' touching him." Conner said.
He nudged Phineas "Ye do it."
"I don't even know how!" Phineas poked at Robby. "You do it."
"Why me?" Robby turned to Angus. "Ye're the expert. Ye do it."
Angus grimaced. "I'm no' doing it. I hate the bugger."
"Stop it!" Shanna screamed "You- Forget it! I'll do it myself."
"Shanna you don't know how," Roman said.
"Gods blood. I guess I have to do it."
"You guess?" Shanna cried "Are you going to let him die?"
"He threatens to kill me every time he sees me.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Vampire Mine

“Gregori strutted toward the door. "I'm too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my fangs. Too sexy." He whirled in a circle, then struck a disco pose with a hand pointing at the ceiling. "Too sexy!" He left with a flourish of his cape.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

“There's no bright side," Phineas objected. "The man's got no gonads."
"But she hit the target," Carlos said.
"The man has got no gonads," Phineas repeated forcefully.
"It was an accident." Caitlyn set her gun on the counter. "I was aiming for his chest."
"You blew his pecker to Connecticut," Phineas muttered.
She grinned. "I think you have issues, Phineas. It was only a paper pecker.”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Eat Prey Love

“one of my favorites:

Robby gave her a skeptical look. "Ye're an angel of death. No offense, but I would call that a wee bit of harm."

"We're called Deliverers, actually. And we're not supposed to take someone before their time."

"How does that work?" Gregori lifted his camera, focusing on her. "I mean do you just go down a line, saying, 'Eenie meenie mynie moe, sorry, dude you gotta go'?”
― Kerrelyn Sparks, Vampire Mine