Yiting

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Sarah   Turner
“My three-year-old niece was in bed with her mum and dad one morning and said to her dad (who goes to the gym), ‘You’ve got massive boobies, Daddy.’ She then turned to her mum and said, ‘You haven’t, you’ve got boobies like me, Mummy!’ — Abi Richardson”
The Unmumsy Mum, The Unmumsy Mums: A Collection of Your Hysterical Stories from the Frontline of Parenting

Lynne Truss
“A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”
Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

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