Katie Johnston

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
― Will Rogers