Kaitlyn

“Why did the sun rise this morning
It's not natural
I don't want to see the light

It's not time to close the casket
Or say Kaddish for my son
I've already buried two fathers

With a mother to come
Isn't that enough Lord who wants us
To exalt and santify Him

I don't want to wear the mourner's ribbon
Or wake up crying every morning
For God knows how long

I don't want to tuck my son into the ground
As if we were putting him to bed
For the last time

Close the prayer book I will not pretend
That God brings peace upon us
And upon all Israel

I don't want to hear anyone
Scolding me from her wheelchair
Because I'm crying too hard

I'm not worried about a heart attack
Nothingness
You've already broken my heart

I will not forgive you
Sun of emptiness
Sky of blank clouds

I will not forgive you
Indifferent God
Until you give back my son”
― Edward Hirsch, Gabriel: A Poem

“I've wasted a lot of time in my life. I've thought too much about what people will say or what they're gonna think. And sometimes it's over silly things like going to the grocery store or going to the post office. But there have been times when I really stopped myself from doing something special. All because I was scared someone might look at me and decide I wasn't good enough. But you don't have to bother with that nonsense. I wasted all that time so you don't have to.”
― Julie Murphy, Dumplin'

“When did you become so weak?” I don’t know. I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it.”
― Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train

“Asking 'why' only makes us feel hopeless. Asking 'how' points the way forward, and shows us what we must do”
― Sue Klebold, A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy