Michael McParland

“sleep soon!” Rapture From Temporal to Eternal In the blink of an eye. Skinned, deboned And winged to fly!”
― Daniel Torridon, In Two Minds

“In 2012, a police chief in Georgia was fired from his job, due to issues with some eviction notices he had served. The officer was living at a local apartment complex, and a coworker had asked him to serve a stack of eviction notices at the complex.   It's illegal for an officer to be involved with an eviction when they are an interested party in the papers they are serving. However, the amusing part is that he had checked the box on his own eviction, stating that he could not find his own address.”
― Jeffrey Fisher, More Stupid Criminals: Funny and True Crime Stories

“*I've tried phoning Stephen Hawking many times but I keep getting his answering machine.”
― FAGR, Jokes That Will Offend Almost Everyone

“I was born alive. Isn’t that punishment enough?”
― Clive Barker, Cabal