Emily

“I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.”
― David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

“It's a common mistake for vacationing Americans to assume that everyone around them is French and therefore speaks no English whatsoever. [...] An experienced traveler could have told by looking at my shoes that I wasn't French. And even if I were French, it's not as if English is some mysterious tribal dialect spoken only by anthropologists and a small population of cannibals.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where you live, Pinocchio, and save the baloney for lunch.”
― David Sedaris, Naked

“Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.”
― Christopher Moore, Fool