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They reminded me of the seasons and, in their bare, visible threads, of something lovely and honest that had now been forgotten, a thing we could only look at but no longer live.
“Some friends complete us, while others complicate us. Maybe you feel as if there were nothing better in the world than driving in a car, listening to music with friends, looking for an all-night donut shop. Nobody says a thing, and it is perfect. Maybe your lifelong fascination with harmony finally began to make sense in those scenes, packed in your family's station wagon, singing along to "God Only Knows," waiting in the parking lot until the song was over.”
― Stay True
― Stay True
“Modern life, theorists like Derrida explain, is full of atomized individuals, casting about for a center and questioning the engine of their lives. His writing is famously intricate, full of citations and abstruse terminology. Things are always already happening. But reflecting on his own relationships tended to give his thinking and writing a kind of desperate clarity. The intimacy of friendship, he wrote, lies in the sensation of recognizing oneself in the eyes of another. We continue to know our friend, even after they are no longer present to look back at us. From that very first encounter, we are always preparing for the eventuality that we might outlive them, or they us. We are already imagining how we may someday remember them. This isn’t meant to be sad. To love friendship, he writes, “one must love the future.” Writing in the wake of his colleague Jean-François Lyotard’s death, Derrida wonders, “How to leave him alone without abandoning him?” Maybe taking seriously the ideas of our departed friends represents the ultimate expression of friendship, signaling the possibility of a eulogy that doesn’t simply focus attention back on the survivor and their grief. We”
― Stay True: A Memoir
― Stay True: A Memoir
“Although I have, in many ways, left and moved on, these places now serve to remind me that though life can often take distressing turns, the possibilities for courage, sympathy, and endurance are limitless. In the most cruel of times, captive and captor accord each other appreciable consideration. Even in the most miserable conditions, in the most inauspicious circumstances, love blossoms and brightens one's small patch of the sky. Perhaps that is where hope ultimately resides, not only in the supreme courage of those who would for their beliefs, but also in the small kindnesses of those who could not.”
― Departures
― Departures
“When you’re young, you do so many things hoping to be noticed. The way you dress or stand, the music played loud enough to catch the attention of another person who might know a song, too. And then there are things you do as you step out into the world, the real world full of strange adults, testing out what it means to be generous or thoughtful. In that instant, before every memory was placed along some narrative arc, before the act of remembering took on a desperate air, I simply felt lucky enough to witness something so effortlessly kind - to see my friend do something that was good.”
― Stay True
― Stay True
“Afterward, through the dreary and uninteresting months and years, one finds that life is really all about small and apparently insignificant choices that one makes, again and again, choices that add up to a life. And one comes to realize, too, but oftentimes, dying, in any manner, is not the point. Rather, it is the living through long periods of attending to mostly humdrum duties, working with people of varied, oftentimes conflicting dispositions and persuasions, and managing to keep one's sense of fairness and decency intact through life's trying confinements, departures, and various other adversities.”
― Departures
― Departures
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