Will Custer

“Beckett placed the spectacles on his face. “Look at me,” he said. “I’m Myles Fowl. The vortex of the quadrangle is deteriorating my underpants.” And he was gone, back-flipping to earth and scampering across the garden like a boy who had been raised by beasts.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Fowl Twins

“I’m a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners.” “Overdressed for what?” said Jean. “Insulting complete strangers,” said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. “Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he’s a dumb motherfucker.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Hush, Harry. Or you'll go to the special hell."

I blinked at that, confused. I'm not supposed to be the guy who doesn't get the reference joke, dammit.”
― Jim Butcher, Cold Days

“What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?”
― Jim Butcher, White Night