Camille

“Um, what's the usual?"
"Haven't the foggiest. Can never remember, but don't have the heart to tell the staff."
...
Taking a sip, Alex made a face and then set the drink down on a coffee table. "Ah yes. It's this stuff. Dreadful."
I really wanted to ask Alex how he had wound up with his "usual" being a drink he didn't actually like, but I was terrified that he might answer me.”
― Alexis Hall, Boyfriend Material

“You become a woman the first time you stand up for yourself when they get your order wrong at a diner, or when you first realize your parents are full of shit. You become a woman the first time you get fitted for a bra and realize you’ve been wearing a very wrong size your whole fucking life. You become a woman the first time you fart in front of a boyfriend. The first time your heart breaks. The first time you break someone else’s heart. The first time someone you love dies. The first time you lie and make yourself look bad so a friend you love can look better. And less dramatic things are meaningful too, like the first time a guy tries to put a finger in your ass. The first time you express the reality that you don’t want that finger in your ass. That you really don’t want anything in your ass at all. Or to have any creative, adventurous sex for that matter. That you just want to be fucked missionary sometimes and without any nonsense. You will remember all these moments later as the moments that made you the woman you are. Everyone tells you it happens when you get your first period, but really it happens when you insert your first tampon and teach your best friend to do the same. Speaking”
― Amy Schumer, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

“I'm sure in the past I've said marriage is stupid. Marriage makes someone sign a contract promising something they really can't deliver. I'm sure I will again say marriage is dumb. But I can also imagine why it could be lovely. There's something beautiful about truly being there for another person.”
― Amy Schumer, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

“Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy. It means you enjoy being alone. Not just enjoy it—you need it. If you’re a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don’t hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them—like the sun. They give you life, sure, but they can also burn you and”
― Amy Schumer, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo