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“It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Indiscretions of Archie

“You won't mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I've just become a socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Mike and Psmith

“A dog without influence or private means, if he is to make his way in the world, must have either good looks or amiability.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man with Two Left Feet and Other Stories

“But a thing I’ve often noticed is that when I’ve got something off my mind, it pretty nearly always happens that Fate sidles up and shoves on something else,”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Jeeves Omnibus Vol. 4