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But as a social construct, small talk is silly; it’s a quagmire, a labyrinth of falseness that we’ve all forced ourselves to endure to establish “rapport.” It’s someone asking you questions about topics they don’t care about, and listeningBut as a social construct, small talk is silly; it’s a quagmire, a labyrinth of falseness that we’ve all forced ourselves to endure to establish “rapport.” It’s someone asking you questions about topics they don’t care about, and listening to answers they don’t want to hear. It’s a balloon of empty, air-filling words passed back and forth until an interruption saves you or the conversation dominant decides it’s OK to stop. Small talk is especially paralyzing to those of us who, left to our own devices, would only ever engage in big talk; who are compulsively confessional; who must announce, when sad or stoned, that we are sad or stoned, because holding these facts inside our bodies might kill us, even though no one else would have guessed. In my personal life, I prefer intense, intimate, deranged, nonlinear talk. I like knowing how people really feel about things. Anything else makes me feel cagey and strange, like we’re living in the Upside-Down, like I am acting in a play called Ha Ha Ha How’s the Weather? It’s Obvious You Are Not Yourself Right Now. But this is not everyone’s conversational preference, and over the years, I’ve learned it’s a little much to expect heart-to-hearts with strangers over cookies and/or the copy machine....more