Jose Alvarez

“I said, “This could not be any stupider.” John said, “Dave, you remember the words to ‘Camel Holocaust’?” “Ah, once again, you prove me wrong, John.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Cops do this every day, rifling closets and digging through your dildo drawer.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“That whole bit was something John had come up with, the man having a terrible habit of carrying out his drunken 3:00 A.M. ideas even after daylight and sobriety came. It was always 3:00 A.M. for John.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End