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read in March 2026
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Book cover for How To Break Free of the Drama Triangle Victim Consciousness
We had unspoken expectations that the other person would do certain things for us without us having to ask. It was awful! We realized that our past experiences of Victim Consciousness meant that we needed to learn how to break free of these ...more
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“But the closer we become, the more the relationship will be challenged. Like a river overflowing its banks and moving in new directions, people are unpredictable. When someone we know goes against our expectations, we’re uncomfortable and we want to move things back to our set point.”
Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“False hope damages both parties in a relationship. We want the other person to change, and we hope and pray for the best. But the other person is responsible for their own choices and the consequences of those choices. If we think that our being consistent will make them change, we’re taking responsibility for them. If they don’t change, we’ve set ourselves up for disappointment.”
Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

“Psychologically necessary equipment. The human mind had never been tested quite like this. Could they have been better prepared? Trained more extensively? What tools would help them now? It seemed ridiculous, but perhaps these books, sheaves of paper made from trees that had once grown on their home planet, full of made-up stories, were what kept Thebes so much more grounded than the rest of them.”
Lily Brooks-Dalton, Good Morning, Midnight

Haruki Murakami
“The sky grew darker, painted blue on blue, one stroke at a time, into deeper and deeper shades of night.”
Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance

“When people experience strong emotion, they can’t hear logic.”
Mike Bechtle, People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

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